Rebirth. Noun.
A: Spiritual regeneration
B: A renewed or new period of existence, activity, or growth
C: A brand new beginning
Example: The natural cycle of birth, death, and rebirth in plants.
Synonyms: resurrection, revival, renewal, resurgence, (re)awakening
Growth is like a painful peeling of layers; a slow death of the ego that reveals a truer version of the Self. It’s the other side of the confusion and heartache, disappointment and fears – the reward for going through “it,” and ultimately, above “it.”
We don’t have to physically die to be reborn, or to be stagnant in a state of purgatory, awaiting and receiving our due judgement (i.e karma, which is the result of the consequences of our free-will/choices). Life cycles also play out in this realm. It’s mirrored in the seasons of cold winters and spring’s blossoming, the waxing and waning of the moon, and the metamorphosis of the caterpillar through its mucky cocoon into a beautiful butterfly. So far, from what I can tell, evolution is never-ending; though, not everyone or everything makes it into the next cycle, period, era, chapter… whatever name we want to assign it. Sometimes, parts of ourselves don’t make it through, and don’t need to, for good reason.
I’m not quite the same me that I was 3 months ago, definitely not a year ago, or two, and beyond that – so many things I can’t honestly fathom happening or experiencing because that version of me no longer exists in the present moment. Current clarity allows me to understand how distorted my beliefs and perceptions, especially ones I held onto about myself, were only masks to survive when I didn’t know otherwise; only discernments placed on me that were counterintuitive to who I knew my Self to be. As I learn, and I know and understand better, it is with deep conviction that I do better – for me; for my joy, peace of mind, and serenity. And with the same unyielding audacity, I promise myself to protect the sanctity of the life that I am creating, that is an authentic reflection of my Self.
“Change is the only thing that can’t be changed.”
-Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher
Oftentimes, we resist change because it can be difficult to process the emotional anxiety triggered by the possibility of, or active transformation into the unknown. We, creatures of habit, tend to like regularity, familiarity, predictability, some sense of routine – it allows us to think that we have control, that we know what we’re doing. Change becomes a disruption to our (fragile) construction of equilibrium. This natural reaction occurs even if the change is one that could lead to greater fulfillment. People will stay in unfavorable circumstances just because they’ve taught themselves how to navigate the nonsense, and the process of unlearning and re-learning takes time, energy and effort that wouldn’t necessarily have to be exerted into a repetitive/cyclical track. It would require to turn the automation off, wake the heck up, and take mindful action towards foreign territory. Here’s the thing – some form of change will come whether you choose to reside locally, or head out on an adventure. Also, everything will take time, energy and effort at the end of the day, so do you use that focus to try to balance your heavy burdens, or do you lay them down, go get you some water and move on to the next activity in your life…?
See, change tests our courage to follow our intuition. It’s either that, or we continue to go against ourselves, only tending to the fire of self-deceit. We’ll allow imbalances as long as we can convince ourselves, or be convinced that this is the best option available, especially if it reinforces a long-standing status quo.
I’ve recently found myself in the energy of a rebirth. 2020 was a fucking ride! It pushed me, from several angles and on multiple levels. There was a significant period of time where I felt like I was head down, doing the work, and I might not have had $100 to my name at some point – I was riding (literally) on the fumes of my faith in myself and the universe – but I shifted and maneuvered my way into this space, this new age, and it felt like I got the keys to a fresh, expansive life and way of being. I stayed in my gratitude for always having everything that I needed to get through the day. Yet, as I grounded, and continue to ground myself in this burgeoning energy, I looked around and noticed the people, places, things and ideas I had to let go of in order to get through that challenging time. Doesn’t mean I wanted to, but it was necessary for the path that I am wandering along. Absolutely nothing, right now, resembles what I had imagined 6 or so months ago that it would be; and, I did struggle to accept some of the changes, to find closure for relationships on my own, to alleviate feelings of regret for the times I abandoned my Self in order to avoid the adjustments my spirit was urging me to make in the hopes of appeasing, really, others’ (internal) conflict and projections. If I continued to resist and tried to pick up the pieces of what was naturally falling away as I outgrew my old skin, I would only be self-sacrificing my integrity, and that’s not something I’d ever be willing to compromise. I choose to gather the lessons with poise, stop looking back, and continue figuring out what’s next.
