If clinicians are to treat the whole person, we cannot shy away from discussing sex and sensuality. It is something we tend to not talk openly about – it’s scandalous, and a private matter. Sex has become perverted in a lot of our minds, and we tend to engage in it carelessly. I talked a little bit more about this in this essay.
We oftentimes shun the human body, when, in fact, it is a work of art. My Black body is not to be fetishized, but celebrated. Bodies are beautiful; they are our spirit’s physical temple that we should be mindful of taking care of. My skin is as radiant as the sun, the complexion of the earth from which life sprouts and regenerates. “Libido” literally translates to “life force,” and Audre Lorde reminded us of the innate power of the erotic – a word that comes the Greek word “eros,” the personification of love in all aspects.
The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire.” -Audre Lorde
The sacral chakra, when unblocked, is access to creativity and vitality; it is undisturbed passion, emotional expression and joy; the home of desires and unbounded imagination that lead to an elevated sense of pleasure. It is a key to creation, to manifestation.
Our sensuality is grounded in nature and grace; the ultimate dance of spirituality. Sensuality is a profound awareness of our world. We make love to the way we eat, each gliding step we take, every living being that comes across our sight, and reverberation of voices or musical notes that caress our soul. It is the full presence and gratification of living with all senses. Living sensually, in its essence, is yoga.
Sensual, mindful awareness is about going with our erotic body, not against it; a state of mind that walks hand in hand with spirituality. Our bodies are not for lascivious consumption, but the most tender appreciation. Through sex, we have the capability of exchanging and merging this divine energy with another, in order to uplift and enhance, not drain or block, the flow of love – which comes from our heart chakra.
He laid me on my back and kissed me between my thighs. I closed my eyes and felt the rhythm of his tongue strumming my body’s flowering bud – opening up to requited love. My hands ran through his hair as I surrendered to his touch. Gripping my butt and pulling me deeper into his mouth. A gentle hum, I let out. My body danced between the confines of his as our skin melted into one. He entered me, slow and deep; the energy from my kundalini rising. “You feel otherworldly.” “I’m an otherworldly woman.” But, shhh… Just feel me, don’t speak. – Excerpt from an upcoming novel by Skukura
It is important to practice surrendering to our senses; to feel the range of emotions that arise and get lost in the universal wonders of life. I did just that when I was on vacation in Costa Rica – taking in the sights, sounds, smells and touch of the world around me. I sensed peace and nurturance. In the months leading up to the trip, I had committed to buying myself more lingerie – just for me; I was practicing celibacy at the time anyway. Lingerie was something I’d always adored but never had a “reason” to buy it; well, the reason became because it enriched my feelings of pleasure. The sight of the garments’ intricacies adorning a female form, the way the silky fabrics felt against my moisturized skin – I loved it all! Lingerie is like a power suit, it just does something for my soul that makes me feel absolutely magnificent. It’s an aid that assists me in tapping into that sacral power. It’s elegant, yet commanding.
When my friend first showed me pictures of the AirBnB we’d be staying in, my first reaction to the vintage-y space was, “Photo shoot!” Thinking similarly, we expressed the same idea to buy a lingerie set. Following our afternoon adventures, we retired to the humble, artist’s abode and poured some red wine – savoring the rich, dry flavors the grapes, warming my insides. We turned on some new-age jazz and soul music, our bodies vibeing and writhing to the notes floating through the air. For hours, our giggles and praises filled the space, smiles finding their way across our faces.
A street light with yellow tones shone through the big windows throughout the apartment. No make-up or fanciful primping was necessary – just our bodies under the light, gleaming; mirroring the radiance of our boisterous spirits. Life is sensual. Being comfortable in our bodies is sensual.
Close your eyes and run your fingers across your earthly canvas. Literally feel yourself; embrace yourself; surrender to the fullness of your Self.