A Reflection on Nostalgia
Nostalgia is an emotion that is often romanticized – like the “good ol’ days” – but that is typically not an honest assessment of the conjured memory. Let’s first understand the difference between nostalgia and memory. Nostalgia is the emotion and memory is the thought; both working together, naturally, to help experience a greater sense of happiness or self-confidence. I was recently reflecting on a comment someone mentioned to me concerning being nostalgic about past memories that we had shared; and, it caught me off guard this time because I wasn’t in the same headspace of pining for or awe’ing over those pastimes. I adored and was content with my present moment and had no yearning to recreate or “fix” that which I did not see as lost or “broken.” I was finding greater acceptance in what is. So, I began to ponder this peculiar feeling of wistfulness that had been brought to my attention and caused me so much pause.
Nostalgia is typically defined as, “a sentimental longing affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal association.” Its synonyms include regretfulness and homesickness. The term is apparently formed from the Greek ‘nostos’ (“homecoming”), and ‘algos’ (“pain”), and was actually used as reasoning to discharge Spanish soldiers during the Thirty Years War, seeing as it was looked at as a mental disorder at the time. In conjunction with this random information, a memory is merely our brain’s attempt to connect us with the past. Summoning up a memory is not similar to hitting play on a recorded segment of our lives; it is simply our brain trying its best to reconstruct a particular experience. So, coupled with the loving sentimentality of nostalgia, it is possible to skew the renewal of these thoughts towards an over-generalization of positivity from your chosen, limited perspective.
Of course, the aspect of nostalgia that stood out to me the most as I reflected, was the focus on looking back, and that is why it didn’t resonate with me. Sure, I have fond memories that come up – I smile at them, release them in love or tuck them safely away, and continue about my day. I do make an intentional choice to hold space for the past and present, “good” and “bad,” but the majority of my attention is on the now. It’s similar to actively engaging in meditation. I feel it’s important to acknowledge the feelings, but to also not allow the emotionality to create illusions… to not misread or overlook your present and the opportunities to produce growth.
What would happen if you’re focusing and putting all your intention into walking forward and getting to a desired destination at a specific time and then your head suddenly, without warning, swivels in the complete opposite direction, as if your eyes were tempted by a glimmer of something on the ground you’d already walked past? Do you: stop, take a glimpse at it and then continue on? ignore it? get distracted, reprioritize your original plan and go off on another adventure with this “something”? Each decision will impact your outcome, and there’s no answer that’s technically better than another, it’s just a matter of choice and free will.
Now, imagine your body and feet facing northbound, but your head is turned 180 degrees, southbound. Each is being pulled towards their respective direction. At some point, it begins to become more and more disjointed. The head and the heart, the action and intention are not in alignment. All of this is what I consider when I think about embracing nostalgia, or replaying/getting lost in old memories over and over. Yes, cherish and be grateful for the past times that felt good, but remember you are not truly in those times, things have changed around you, even if you haven’t. Good feelings can be created again, but they have to be fresh; you have to turn your attention back around and redirect yourself to the heart-centered desires.
One of the most important lessons about being present that I learned in 2020 was to “focus on what’s (literally) in front of me.” Quarantining alone, what was in front of me, first and foremost, was my Self – my home, my well-being, my goals, my responsibilities. I released the need to wait for things outside of my control to appear – especially for them to be provided in the way I felt I needed them to at the time – in favor of remaining faithful and honest to my ascension and Self. Things come and go; change is inevitable. We can allow our minds to run wild and chaotic reminiscing and/or anticipating, or we can make the choice to be in the here and now and find gratitude in the immediate space, for all that it is. I learned to release attachments to the past, find acceptance in the existing moment and to continue moving onward. For my own sake.
Purpose comes into play because, at the end of the day, my intention is to always move towards my goals and dreams; so, when I give up my time to pay attention to the past or to something that feels missing (rather than appreciating what is here right now), I cheapen my incoming future; I miss opportunities to create and nurture new beginnings. I find it best to learn to take the lessons from the past and allow them to teach me how to keep going. Attachment – to rigid thought patterns and habits, relying on others to be in our lives, material items, an inflexible timeline, a job title/role, for example – can cause stuckness and heaviness, especially when said attachments no longer resonate with your current state of being.